Through the pain
Jeff Foster writes:
Trauma is stuck life energy — creative, natural, playful life energy that was not allowed to flow when it first emerged and tried to flow. It wasn’t safe to let it flow and you didn’t know how. And so it got stuck in your body. It’s not your fault, dear one.
The words you wanted to scream. The ways in which you wanted to move your body. The healthy human feelings you intelligently squished in order to protect yourself, to get love, to be «okay», to stay alive. The truth you needed to express, but couldn’t.
But it’s a new day, and anything stuck in you yesterday can be given permission to move again today. This will take courage, the willingness to feel old pain and breathe through it, to trust the body now instead of giving in to the mind and its fears. To tell the truth. To come out of hiding and let yourself be seen.
In the safety of your own presence, or in the safe presence of another who can hold you and trust your process, can you turn towards the sore place, the tight place, the dark place, the aching place, and bring to it the light of your awareness, the light of love?
Life only wants to play in you, dance, tremble, vibrate, surge and move through to completion. The rage, the terror, the impulses and urges and desires you learned were «sick» or «dangerous» or «wrong» or «shameful» were always natural, and normal, and healthy, and they won’t damage you as you turn towards them now and give them the love and attention and safe passage they always deserved.
You don’t have to act them out. Just feel them, shine light on them, bow to them. And allow, allow, allow. Moment by moment.
Be a vast Heart now, a loving curious welcoming Heart, and trust this intelligent storm of feeling as it emerges, roars and passes in its own time.
Your wounds, your turbulent and sorrowful places, your traumas, are not mistakes; they are the sacred places in you desperately yearning for love, waiting to be penetrated by your curious light.
So scream, shake, tremble, weep, vomit — make a holy mess. You are a warrior, you are alive, you are healing and learning to play.
Through the pain —
to the glory!
And behold:
The place in you that was never traumatized.
Your innocent Heart.
Your indestructible
Self.
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